Walter White (Bryan Cranston) - Breaking Bad - Season 3, Episode 4.The most literal and humorless but accurate answer to the classic joke setup, “Knock-knock/Who’s there?” is actually “the one who knocks.” So considering that “the one who knocks” is kind of Walter White’s catchphrase on Breaking Bad, it’s safe to assume that when he is not stressing out about a drug-dealing competitor or a death threat or cancer, knock-knock jokes are his favorite way to laugh and relax! So let’s get in the spirit with some of our own Breaking Bad knock-knock jokes. Sure to make you the life of the party! And if people don’t laugh, just poison them with an untraceable plant!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Champ.
Champ who?
Champ-who? No, thanks, don’t need it. I’m one of the show’s many bald characters.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Hank.
Hank who?
No, Hank you for having the courtesy to at least flush after learning your brother-in-law was Heisenberg.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Marie.
Marie who?
Marie-lly adorable baby tiara is gone. Did Skyler’s sister take it?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting Hector Salamanca
Interrupt—
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding [explosion.]
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Pizza Deliveryman.
Just throw it on the roof.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Huell.
Huell who?
Huell get a bad back if you try to actually sleep on a bed of money.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo who?
Woo who! Science, bitch!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub, before the hydwofwuoric acid burns thwough and a gwoss mixture of guts and teeth wains through the ceiwing.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Turtlesgo.
Turtlesgo who?
No, owls go “who.” Turtles go BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Flynn.
Flynn who?
Fine, Walt Jr.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Gus.
Gus who?
Gus Who’s Albuquerque’s meth kingpin? That Pollos Hermanos dude!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Methhead.
Methhead who?
Methhead acting is the best way to get into character when the scene involves getting your head smashed in by an ATM.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Bitch.
Bitch who?
Bitch your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be meth.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Badger.
Badger who?
Badger bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be Star Trek scripts.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Mark Strong.
Mark Strong who?
Come on! The star of Low Winter Sun. You know, the show that plays right after Breaking Bad — why won’t you watch? I’m also bald!
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