Christmas carols | | guardian.co.uk Arts

"Christian children all must be mild, obedient, good as he." The prescriptive lyrics from which Victorian carol?  Once in Royal David's City Good King Wenceslas Away in a Manger The First Noel "Its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom." Which of the three kings' gifts had these properties?  Mince pies Myrrh Gold Frankincense Add the number of drummers drumming to the amount of golden rings, then subtract how many maids were a milking, and what do you get?  14 10 3 9 Who is urged to "let nothing you dismay" ?  Good king Wenceslas You merry gentlemen Angels from the realms of glory Sweet baby Jesus What are the names of Santa's nine reindeer?  Masher, Smasher, Ponce, Vixen, Nixen, Stupid, Thunder, Lightning and Rudolph Dasher, Runner, Prancer, Donner, Star, Cupid, Vixen, Blitzen and Rudolph Homer, Simpson, Bart, Ludwig, Noel, Stanley, Elvis, Liv and Rudolph Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph What was "right against the forest fence, by Saint Agnes' fountain?"  Shepherds watching their sheep The little town of Bethlehem Angels from the realms of glory Yonder peasant's dwelling What did I see Mummy doing to Santa Claus, and where?  Tickling him, under his left ear Kissing him, under the mistletoe Kicking him, back up the chimney Gutting and stuffing him, in the pantry The cattle are lowing. What happens next?  Rudoph's nose lights up Mary smiles tenderly Mummy kisses Santa Claus The baby awakes Deck the halls with boughs of holly,  Tis the season to be jolly Gloooor- o-o-o-o-o-ooo-o-o-o-oooo-o-o-o-o-o-RIA Fa la la la la, la la la la Give the child a cherry lolly What's the second verse of Jingle Bells?  A day or two ago / I thought I'd take a ride / And soon Miss Fanny Bright / Was seated by my side I'm hot to trot you know / So baby don't be cruel / We can make sweet love / And play it by your rules Cling tight to the reins / And lash the deer with whips / Light your cigarette / And lift it to your lips Up in old Lapland / Santa's packed his sleigh / Put the elves to bed / And now he's on his way Who should Come?  All men poor and lowly All ye faithful, joyful and triumphant Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer Angels from the realms of glory "He sees you when you're sleeping/ He knows when you're awake/ He knows if you've been bad or good... " So what?  Be good for goodness' sake Might as well cancel Christmas this year, eh? Hang your stocking by the grate Giii-ive don't take take take  

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